tonight i watched a very enlightening documentary on PBS. it was called "Endgame" and it was all about the US strategies in Iraq so far.
According to the documentary, after the initial attack on Iraq in '03, everyone thought we'd be out of there by that September. All the bigwig generals left. Nobody made any plans for an insurgency, and for a few years everyone was just kind of trying to figure out what the hell to do. Rumsfeld and this inexperienced general believed in what they called leaving a "light footprint" in Iraq - basically keeping our troops on the base next to the burger king or sending them out in tanks - avoiding as much warfare as possible. Then there were issues like the fact that millions of bombs were being built in Fallujah, to be sent to Iraqi insurgents. So we blew Fallujah apart and went back to the base. The election held in Iraq was boycotted by Sunnis (half the population) thereby paving the way for a civil war once all the Shi'a voters voted in a Shi'a government. (why they boycotted wasn't stated) Then there was this idea to enforce the strategy of "Clear, Hold, and Build" which meant clear a small area of insurgents, hold it secure, and rebuild the area for the citizens. One general even carried this out successfully in the town of Tal Afar. Sounds awesome, right? Condoleeza really pushed for this strategy, and that pissed Rumsfeld off. So everyone's stoked about this new strategy, but the doc leaves you with the feeling that it's too late... the last time Bush had a chance to enact it he underminded Condi and everyone by trying to get the Iraqi's to do the "holding and rebuilding" and while it's true that the US no longer has the resources to clear hold and build all over Iraq, the Iraqi police/army have proven to be totally unreliable. So the Shrub got really into the idea and asked to send more troops (that 20 thou surge) but all the generals and officials on the doc said that's actually more of a dribble than a surge and who the hell knows what can be done now, and possibly the only "endgame" left is to just bail (like we did the first time). How messed up. Check out the doc at pbs.org. Yeah - those burnt bodies hanging from the bridge are real. Just like the people being shot. Weird how as American movie/news/tv viewers we can hardly tell the difference.
i took a nap today, and have been messing around on the computer for hours into the early morn... messing around on flickr because in an effort to reduce my belongings, i took digital photos of old print photos before moving to michigan this year. then i posted those on flickr. the photos were old and cropped and worn and i threw most of them away, but what i wanted was a way to browse them sometimes, and just refresh whatever memory held there. so here's one of the photo/collages:
left to right, from top (all from 1993): me in a KC-135 aerial refueler, looking at the south dakota badlands through the bubble where the proboscis thingy gets handled.
great shot of the huey we got to ride in during a field exercise in wisconsin.
jessica (friend, roommate) and i at a lake in boise. we got into a lot of trouble together.
view of my boots out of the open huey
mormon boy i fell for. turned out to be a big loser.
postcard from that wisconsin field exercise
2 shots of my friend heather - we liked to go on road trips together. this one was to see her family in oregon. the bottom right hand one is of same trip. we took that car on my first trip to salt lake city and slept in it. so cold!!!
friends josh(?) and steph barbecueing at strike dam. that was our favorite place to go jetskiing, skinny dipping, to rent pontoon boats or go camping. on the snake river. bottom left is overhead view of valley below the dam.
black and white is of my friend klint. we used to listen to clint black a LOT. especially that song that goes "ain't it funny how a melody... can bring back a memory... take you to another place in time... can even change your state of mind..."
jess drinking mad dog probably at castle rock in idaho. we climbed around, went camping, and i passed out. i don't remember the rest of that night, but other stuff happened or so i hear.
i don't remember who that guy is in that small pic.
last black and white is of me, taken by my then-HUSBAND, yes husband, LoL, Tim Bremser.
So my little sister graduated from high school yesterday. The same high school I went to, in the same neighborhood where my dad and his family grew up, and where her mom has lived for 25 years. And yet her mom, our dad, and I all sat separately at the stadium. When she walked out I cried by myself up in the cheap seats, where only a handful of people were sitting. I guess it was out of happiness for her, and sadness over how important family is in her life and how pathetic this situation was. I didn't expect to cry so much at what should have been a really jovial event but she's the only person in my life that I've watched be a baby and grow up, with all the unnecessary drama she's had to either slog through or ignore, and how unfair it seems. I purposely have not had children over the fear of not being able to do with the idealistic yet still reasonable standards that I would want. But here is a kid that I've had to watch be raised with far less attention to what I deem to be real mental and physical health than how I might ever raise my own. Instead of being an ever present sister who might influence her upbringing, I usually lived far away, following my own whimsy. I might not agree with her her mother's style all the time, but I got her a card too, and thanked her for always being nearby and available to Katie, and I acknowledged that Katie wouldn't have been this successful without her, and as an aside I probably wouldn't have even made it through grade school without Katie's mom in my life. I haven't been close to her mother since she made my sister lie to my father about the man living with them. I haven't spoken with my father since he started yet another fight with my sister last Christmas. They would get in fights every few months, usually over her not paying enough attention to him. I finally got myself involved but while they can get over things quickly (my sister doesn't say how she really feels and just tries to ignore her anger) it takes a lot longer for my dad and I to get over arguments because when I'm fighting for what I think is a righteous cause, I hit really hard. I love my dad though and while he screws up as much as anyone else, I'll always love him and I just know we'll have our ups and downs.
I dried my eyes and drove over to my grandmas. I called to make sure my mom wasn't over there before I arrived - since we haven't spoken since she told Jarad that she regretted giving me a Christmas gift because what I gave her did not nearly match the price. Plus I'd told her once in confidence that I wasn't sure what was going to happen between Jarad and I, being apart all summer. She decided, after I'd left for Michigan, to hint to him that she was sad we were breaking up. Anyway it was way out of line. I don't know. There's not a lot of gray area in my book when it comes to anyone acting even slightly (undeservedly) cruel to me or anyone. I don't expect to be forgiven easily if I'm guilty of that, either.
Yeah it's dirty laundry day I guess. I had some chinese food on Saturday and my fortune said I was going to have an epiphany.
I have no tolerance for hypocrites. Mostly I hear people saying they are making positive changes in their life, but really it's all talk. I guess that could be weakness too. I have a real problem with so called environmentalist/human rights types talking about how they're against all the bad shit without acknowledging their their gas powered cars and the hundreds of plastic things they own that were made in china, nor their middle class incomes being used to constantly more unnecessary shit simply because it's natural or environmentally friendly. When they don't even need a new hypoallergenic linen pillow stuffed with organic cedar chips in the first place. Please people don't even act the least bit like you're all that and aware unless you are really willing to make some sacrifices. There's my rant. As for me, I do my part to keep 6 year olds in china employed.
My other epiphany was that while I felt my reasons for standing up against Katie's mom and our dad was righteous, none of that mattered because it was her day and it would have been wonderful for her to see us all together and happy. I have to find more positive ways to get my points across and inspire change.
On that note I'll mention that my dad decided to hang out with my sister and I today, and everything was fine once they worked through a sensitive issue, and we had a great day together. Tonight I watched "the painted veil" with both my hollywood loves - Ed Norton and Liev Schreiber. Ed Norton will always win. Oh and I had the joy of being able to go to a regular grocery store for stuff like organic nectarines, kombucha in a bottle, organic oj, brown cow yogurt, and reeds extra ginger beer being sold in singles in the cold case. little things like this don't come easy in michigan.
Had a good mellow day of sailing yesterday. Then a hectic morning trying to find the airport entrance in Traverse City... all made better by being able to hang with Andrew at SeaTac for a few hours at his gate (he was on his way to Chile). He showed me some great footage of massive glacial calving during his last trip aboard the icebreaker. The huge uprising of water is all that ice returning to the surface.
I got a wonderful surprise this week. Tuvalu called from Port Huron, Michigan, to tell me she wanted to bring her daughter up and spend the night aboard Manitou, go sailing, and spend one of my days off with me! I had not seen Tuvalu in a little over 3 years and had never met her and Micah's daughter, Matilda, so this was really exciting for me. Tu and Tilda showed up in time for our afternoon sail, met the crew and captain and went sailing! Woohoo! The organization that runs Highlander Sea does not allow any child under the age of 8 to sail aboard, so this was one of very few times that Tilda had been out sailing. I know that Micah wishes he could sail with his daughter, but he wasn't able to come up to Manitou this week. Tilda is an amazing 2 year old - she already eats with a fork, climbs companionways on her own. She learned to use the onboard head very quickly, and I even taught her to use my digital camera! Sometimes she says things in spanish or japanese so it takes a minute to decipher what she's saying. Tu and Micah are doing an incredible job of raising this little girl. They're far from rich but they're not compromising when it comes to their child, so Tu doesn't work any job that would leave Tilda without a parent present, they don't ever leave the baby in a stroller or playpen, nor do they set her in front of a television to watch anything other than "Keiki's Delivery Service." Which is where she gets her Japanese. They serve her the healthiest food they can find, and she only plays with wooden or tin toys. Tu commented that Dan Moreland of Picton Castle fell in love with Tilda during Tall Ships in the Great Lakes last year, and has already offered her a position on board once she turns 12.
We went and visited some other traditional boats yesterday - the schooner Inland Seas, s/v Madeline, and the sloop Welcome. All three operate on Lake Michigan. We also went swimming after Tu bought Tilda a little canoe for her toy family. Then they took off and I was late for the yacht race. I made it to the boat though. The older guys on my crew have some interesting backgrounds. Thomas, the fireman, still holds an unlimited tonnage pilot's license for most of Lake Michigan and told me all kinds of crazy cargo ship stories from back in the day. And here I was thinking he wasn't all that because he wasn't too fast on the self tailing winch... turns out he just wasn't blessed with the high pressure learning situation that I was, down in the BVI spring regatta years back, with some British bitch yelling at me to go faster, looking at me with disgust and saying "What the fucking hell!?"
Upon crossing the finish line, I found my friends Sonja and Justin hanging out on the race committee boat. Back at the yacht club Justin bought us some dark and stormies, and we three ragtag yacht club party crashers enjoyed our drinks amongst the polo and khaki clad yachties.
I had wednesday and thursday off, and did practically nothing. I hung out with friends Sonja, Seth and Justin at Justin's apt on tuesday night. Seth and I talked boats and we're all boat trash so that was good. Thursday I went to get quotes from printers for the new issue of Jack Tar and was sorely disappointed to find out that 300 copies would cost over 800 dollars! Sheesh. Looking into other options now.
Glen and I have been watching Firefly every night because I found myself on a mall shopping spree thursday, buying dvd's at Target instead of paying the higher priced fee to actually SEE a movie at the theater. I bought all the Firefly episodes plus Super Troopers for the crew loft. The new crew Wes added to the library with Last of the Mohicans, Saving Private Ryan, and the classic Spaceballs. I also went to Victoria's secret and men let me tell you if you want to make any woman happy, go and buy one of the wireless cami tops with the built in bra. Check your girl's bra size before you go, obviously. It's expensive but totally awesome.
Today was an eventful workday. The 2nd sail was a charter for a Coastie wedding, so one of those top of the line Coastie choppers did some hovering after the ceremony and took pictures from the sky. Then out of the blue I look off the bow and the same chopper is flying straight at us at 170 miles per hour (really). They did 2 fly-bys within 20 feet of our shrouds, and at LEAST 20 feet lower than our trucks. Holy freakin cow I screamed a little! Apparently the guy getting married was the pilot's boss. Anyway the wedding was sweet and everyone was pretty jolly... their open bar and all. Then Seth and Justin joined us on the evening sail and hauled their asses off. Justin worked on a dutch boat in Bermuda once, and has his own sailboat. Seth has crewed aboard Shenandoah, Pride 2, Tole Mour, and some other windjammers. They helped haul everything and then Seth coiled down everything for us. It was great. At the end of the sail Justin helped furl while Seth drove. The relief captain, Captain Joe, even thanked me for bringing them onboard tonight. We were one man short so it really did help. Seth invited me over for a halibut bbq but I'm too tired for that. Too bad too because he's shipping out with NOAA any day now so who knows if I'll ever see the guy again. Well probably someday.
Anyway the days are long and hard but I have a lot of fun crewing with Glen and Wes and all the captains, and I even got to hang with friends on the evening sail, so that was good.
Oh yeah and at 2:25 am this morning I saw the most amazing moonrise over Grand Traverse Bay. First it looked like a forest fire was starting in the distance, but then the moon rose up and looked kinda like this, but not full.
We had fun last weekend. Some good sails on Saturday, with the help of photographer and chef Josh as volunteer crew. He took a bunch of pics of us on the boat. Later that night Capt Matt & I joined Sonja and Seth from the maritime academy to check out the Pirates 3. Better than 2, but not better than 1 (general consensus).
All of our sails were canceled on Sunday, so Glen and I organized the rigging loft and did little chores here and there. Then me, Glen, Kent, Matt, and the new crewmember Wes, went over to Josh's house in the country to enjoy the sauna he'd just built, some beers, fresh clams, steak, sausage, asparagus wrapped in bacon, salad... hmmm. It was all wonderful. Wes had only been off the plane an hour before we dragged him out there, but he obviously wasn't complaining.
Better, far, suffer occasional insults
or die outright, than live the
life of a coward, or never move
without a protector.
The best protector any woman can
have, one that will serve her
at all times and in all places, is
COURAGE;
this she must get by her own
experience, and experience
comes by exposure.
E.C. Stanton/Blackwell
