I just finished reading Maiden Voyage by Tania Aebi. It got to be laughable - how did she make it around the world? People towed her through rougher harbors, she always hid out in her bunk in heavy storms, her cats pissed and pooped all over her bed, her food, everything. She didn't learn how to properly stow ANYTHING until the last month of her 2 1/2 year trip. And I'm talking anything. Her floors were constantly covered with food and sauces, she lost cans of fuel out of the cockpit... all because she didn't stow stuff right. A million people fixed her engine for her, and then she would promptly destroy it. I'd rather have read about how she grew as a person than how she fumbled around the world, messing up her boat, and calling her daddy for money or to come put her boat back together. But hey, she WAS only 18 when she set out. And not very salty.
Here's the one paragraph I got a kick out of about a fake beard and an empty grenade that she brought on her trip:
"My father and I had assumed that if ever somebody (undesirable) wanted to board, maybe a bearded man would make the predators think twice. If that didn't work, I could pull out the pin, hold up the grenade and say, "If you come on my boat, we all go." If they still ignored the twerp with bold words and decided to come anyway, well, what the heck, I tried"
Morning with Stupid
Give me a good reason why I should be called "captain" of anything, because this morning I've proven my almost complete inability to navigate my way into a building that lies about 1 mile from my apartment. After one hour of joviality, one hour of confusion, a brief cry, and another hour of bewilderment, I managed to locate the new Coast Guard Licensing office in downtown Seattle. That's the short story. Skip the rest unless you want to hear the gritty yet sometimes entertaining details of my Tuesday morning ridiculousness...
First the lesson: Never attempt an important errand without a thoroughly researched plan. You know that attitude that some people have... those people who say to me "Kim, you plan too much, you worry too much! Relax! Everything'll work out." Yeah you know who you are. Can I blame this morning on you? I won't. I'll take the blame. I'm a dufus. I'm a dufus because instead of checking the address, I just ASSuMEd that the REC was in the same place it was 4 years ago - on the Coast Guard base way down the waterfront past the shipyard. Makes sense, right? Coastie office on a Coastie base? WRONG. But before anyone thinks this is going to include any kind of rant against the Seattle REC, you're dead wrong, because they have always been great to me.
I thought I'd planned my trip to the REC meticulously; every paper I was submitting was in it's own plastic sleeve, with a brief summary note slipped in with it, for example, a sea service letter had a note summarizing days (inland or NC) and tonnage. Plus I'd gone to bed early so that I could be there when the workers were fresh - upon their 7:30 am opening. I'd hoped for good moods and had originally planned a Monday arrival, but I'd stayed up too late. So after a 6am wakeup, and a 7:12 am bus from Capitol Hill, I was downtown near the ferry dock and walking the long straight walk out to the USCG base. The bums were still asleep in their dirty blankets, the overcast sky was hiding the morning sun, and a dockworker gave me a kind "good morning" along the way. Upon reaching the base I found no way to enter in the usual spot, and saw a sign that said "New Entrance on Massachussetts Ave." I stepped towards the road and looked up and down Alaskan Way, squinting to see distant street signs. Which way was Massachussetts? I wondered. I couldn't remember. I looked around, feeling lost, and figured I'd start walking north to look at some street signs a little closer. A kind looking man was walking briskly in the opposite direction, and he smiled at me and said "Are you looking for the REC?" relieved, I said I was and he proceeded to tell me that he was Andy Crawford, and that he could give me directions. At this point I'm thinking "Andy Crawford! Of the reputedly excellent Crawford Nautical School just one mile north. This is definitely a man who can help me." With his nice smile, Andy points points towards all the buildings downtown and tells me to look at a black smokestack. He tells me basically to line the black smokestack up with one of the shipyard lighted towers and a tall USCG sign. He says go in that direction, and then gave me a ton of instructions about where to go in the actual building. FYI I haven't been even awake before 8 or 9 am in weeks so I got as far as going in the direction of the smokestack and figured I could discern the rest once there. How hard could it be to find Massachussetts street and a federal building? I thanked Andy and went on my merry way, theorizing how my maritime guardian angels were all named Andy and had very Maritime-related last names (Drake, McKee, Crawford). When I reached the area of the smokestack I was in Pioneer Square. No federal building. I walked around a few blocks, looking for Massachussetts Street. No luck. I thought I'd head over to the ferry dock and ask around over there. There was a street map of downtown outside the ferry dock. No Massachussetts street. Five middle eastern taxi drivers were having a big argument about men wearing skirts and one guy asked me to justify that I'd seen this phenomenon. "yes, kilts" I replied. "SEE!? Kilts! She's seen it!" and they went on like this while I made my way up the ferry terminal to find a better map. Nothing was available, so I walked back down to the guys with Seattle maps imprinted in their brains (the taxi drivers) and asked them to point me in the right direction. "Massachussetts? You want me take you there? ok then well go south on first until you hit it. It's south". So great I was on my way and heading south on first, walking by some of the same bums and people walking their dogs, down, down first. Down, down, wow this seems far from Andy's smokestack... I found a busdriver at a bus stop and asked him if I was close to my street. Just a few more blocks he says. I look to my right and see a big Coastie vessel over the top of a building and ask myself "am I really all the way back by the USCG base?" and this is affirmed once I hit Massachussets street to find nothing on it but buldozers and lighting stores, until it meets up with the USCG base across Alaskan Way.
At which point my eyes get a little wet with frustration.
Swearing that I will figure this crap out, and hoping I don't see Andy Crawford again, I walk the front of the base again. Two young Coastie girls picking up trash walk up and I ask them if they know where the Regional Exam Center is. They've never heard of such a thing. And look interested but still confused when I tell them it's where people apply for their captain's licenses. One girl tells me to go to the USCG front gate and talk to "a large black man named Mr. Gatti". I thank them and minutes later I find Mr. Gatti, who informs me that indeed the REC has moved and it's now at 9th and Jackson. I thank him as well and start another trek downtown, this being the 4th time I've walked this distance. Downtown I pass several streets, but not Jackson, and when I reach the streets I know, I realize I'm not going to pass Jackson anytime soon. My backpack is heavy. My legs hurt. It's after 9am. I sit down in front of a tall building near 2nd and Cherry with stonehenge-like rocks decorating it's terrace. The bench reeks of urine. I'm close to a bus stop and thinking my transfer will get me back south, where Jackson must be, I wait for a bus. I see a bus that says it's going south and hop on, only to find that it's getting on Highway 99, next stop West Seattle. As it turns the corner towards the highway I ask the jerry-curled driver if this bus goes to King Street Station (the train station near Jackson) and he says No. I say "i'm stuck on here, aren't I?" to which he actually replies "yep. unless you wanna give me something." I realize he is wanting me to slip him some cash and I just slink back. I sit there, way past crying, and just finally relaxed in a warm seat and laughing a bit to myself. In West Seattle I get off and jerry curl tells me what return bus to catch. On the next bus I'm pretty mellowed out and enjoying the morning sun behind mount Rainier, and those cool UFO clouds above it. I get off the bus again, near Jackson, and find 2nd and Jackson straightaway. No federal building. There's a county building where a security guard tells me "nope, no Coast Guard Regional Exam office here" and I almost tear up again but instead head over to Zeitgeist coffee, where I cannot get wifi, then to Tullys, where wifi is spotty, but up long enough to google a map for the actual REC address, which turned out to be 2nd and Marion. Mean-faced and haggard I hike up 2nd and find myself at a building I'd passed twice already this morning. The same one with pee-smelling benches.
So, 3 hours after my trek began and with one hour to spare before having to head to work, I arrive at the REC. They laugh at my plastic sleeves and notes and take my fingerprints on a cool scanning machine. They charge me $100 and tell me I should have my license in 4 weeks.
THE END
First the lesson: Never attempt an important errand without a thoroughly researched plan. You know that attitude that some people have... those people who say to me "Kim, you plan too much, you worry too much! Relax! Everything'll work out." Yeah you know who you are. Can I blame this morning on you? I won't. I'll take the blame. I'm a dufus. I'm a dufus because instead of checking the address, I just ASSuMEd that the REC was in the same place it was 4 years ago - on the Coast Guard base way down the waterfront past the shipyard. Makes sense, right? Coastie office on a Coastie base? WRONG. But before anyone thinks this is going to include any kind of rant against the Seattle REC, you're dead wrong, because they have always been great to me.
I thought I'd planned my trip to the REC meticulously; every paper I was submitting was in it's own plastic sleeve, with a brief summary note slipped in with it, for example, a sea service letter had a note summarizing days (inland or NC) and tonnage. Plus I'd gone to bed early so that I could be there when the workers were fresh - upon their 7:30 am opening. I'd hoped for good moods and had originally planned a Monday arrival, but I'd stayed up too late. So after a 6am wakeup, and a 7:12 am bus from Capitol Hill, I was downtown near the ferry dock and walking the long straight walk out to the USCG base. The bums were still asleep in their dirty blankets, the overcast sky was hiding the morning sun, and a dockworker gave me a kind "good morning" along the way. Upon reaching the base I found no way to enter in the usual spot, and saw a sign that said "New Entrance on Massachussetts Ave." I stepped towards the road and looked up and down Alaskan Way, squinting to see distant street signs. Which way was Massachussetts? I wondered. I couldn't remember. I looked around, feeling lost, and figured I'd start walking north to look at some street signs a little closer. A kind looking man was walking briskly in the opposite direction, and he smiled at me and said "Are you looking for the REC?" relieved, I said I was and he proceeded to tell me that he was Andy Crawford, and that he could give me directions. At this point I'm thinking "Andy Crawford! Of the reputedly excellent Crawford Nautical School just one mile north. This is definitely a man who can help me." With his nice smile, Andy points points towards all the buildings downtown and tells me to look at a black smokestack. He tells me basically to line the black smokestack up with one of the shipyard lighted towers and a tall USCG sign. He says go in that direction, and then gave me a ton of instructions about where to go in the actual building. FYI I haven't been even awake before 8 or 9 am in weeks so I got as far as going in the direction of the smokestack and figured I could discern the rest once there. How hard could it be to find Massachussetts street and a federal building? I thanked Andy and went on my merry way, theorizing how my maritime guardian angels were all named Andy and had very Maritime-related last names (Drake, McKee, Crawford). When I reached the area of the smokestack I was in Pioneer Square. No federal building. I walked around a few blocks, looking for Massachussetts Street. No luck. I thought I'd head over to the ferry dock and ask around over there. There was a street map of downtown outside the ferry dock. No Massachussetts street. Five middle eastern taxi drivers were having a big argument about men wearing skirts and one guy asked me to justify that I'd seen this phenomenon. "yes, kilts" I replied. "SEE!? Kilts! She's seen it!" and they went on like this while I made my way up the ferry terminal to find a better map. Nothing was available, so I walked back down to the guys with Seattle maps imprinted in their brains (the taxi drivers) and asked them to point me in the right direction. "Massachussetts? You want me take you there? ok then well go south on first until you hit it. It's south". So great I was on my way and heading south on first, walking by some of the same bums and people walking their dogs, down, down first. Down, down, wow this seems far from Andy's smokestack... I found a busdriver at a bus stop and asked him if I was close to my street. Just a few more blocks he says. I look to my right and see a big Coastie vessel over the top of a building and ask myself "am I really all the way back by the USCG base?" and this is affirmed once I hit Massachussets street to find nothing on it but buldozers and lighting stores, until it meets up with the USCG base across Alaskan Way.
At which point my eyes get a little wet with frustration.
Swearing that I will figure this crap out, and hoping I don't see Andy Crawford again, I walk the front of the base again. Two young Coastie girls picking up trash walk up and I ask them if they know where the Regional Exam Center is. They've never heard of such a thing. And look interested but still confused when I tell them it's where people apply for their captain's licenses. One girl tells me to go to the USCG front gate and talk to "a large black man named Mr. Gatti". I thank them and minutes later I find Mr. Gatti, who informs me that indeed the REC has moved and it's now at 9th and Jackson. I thank him as well and start another trek downtown, this being the 4th time I've walked this distance. Downtown I pass several streets, but not Jackson, and when I reach the streets I know, I realize I'm not going to pass Jackson anytime soon. My backpack is heavy. My legs hurt. It's after 9am. I sit down in front of a tall building near 2nd and Cherry with stonehenge-like rocks decorating it's terrace. The bench reeks of urine. I'm close to a bus stop and thinking my transfer will get me back south, where Jackson must be, I wait for a bus. I see a bus that says it's going south and hop on, only to find that it's getting on Highway 99, next stop West Seattle. As it turns the corner towards the highway I ask the jerry-curled driver if this bus goes to King Street Station (the train station near Jackson) and he says No. I say "i'm stuck on here, aren't I?" to which he actually replies "yep. unless you wanna give me something." I realize he is wanting me to slip him some cash and I just slink back. I sit there, way past crying, and just finally relaxed in a warm seat and laughing a bit to myself. In West Seattle I get off and jerry curl tells me what return bus to catch. On the next bus I'm pretty mellowed out and enjoying the morning sun behind mount Rainier, and those cool UFO clouds above it. I get off the bus again, near Jackson, and find 2nd and Jackson straightaway. No federal building. There's a county building where a security guard tells me "nope, no Coast Guard Regional Exam office here" and I almost tear up again but instead head over to Zeitgeist coffee, where I cannot get wifi, then to Tullys, where wifi is spotty, but up long enough to google a map for the actual REC address, which turned out to be 2nd and Marion. Mean-faced and haggard I hike up 2nd and find myself at a building I'd passed twice already this morning. The same one with pee-smelling benches.
So, 3 hours after my trek began and with one hour to spare before having to head to work, I arrive at the REC. They laugh at my plastic sleeves and notes and take my fingerprints on a cool scanning machine. They charge me $100 and tell me I should have my license in 4 weeks.
THE END
Miss March
My friend Cass, featured in many shots below, is "Miss March" in the calendar recently published by her bike club. BUY THIS CALENDAR!!!!
Hello, Plano!
another storm in Seattle! mostly this means You'd Be Stupid To Drive ANYWHERE. oh, and beware leaving breakables under large old trees (like your truck, if you have one).
last night i rec'd a sample copy of the zine i'm working on. i was pretty satisfied, though the publisher acquaintance of mine had tweaked my whole magazine in InDesign and gave me an extra copy showing how he could do it that way. it made me nervous because the whole thing was laid out differently, including every font being changed. i felt guilty telling him i wanted to stick with my design, because here he was trying to help, but mine looks a little DIY on purpose, and he might not "get" that.
by the way, if you, reader, did not get an email from me requesting your home mailing address, and you would like a copy of this 'zine, please email me at jacktarzine(at)gmail.com
everyone who actually donated money ($20 or more) or time to the effort will get a year subscription and a few little extras. one of the extras is a cute button designed by The Beard.
other news - I am applying to boats to work during late spring & summer! can't wait to get back on the water. i guess i'll take the laptop with me and put together the zine from the water, wherever I am.
The title is referring to whomever lives in Plano, Texas and reads this blog. You've been a mystery to me for a year now. Still... Jonathans in Bremerton and Illinois, and numerous folks in LA, thanks for keeping up with me! As well as Mason, Erik, and Mark (I think). Did I miss anyone?
2007 is going to be a kick ass year for all of us!!!!
