once i stopped looking and no longer cared to even try, something easy came along.
something easy
i'm choosing something easy. there's no red flags, nobody needing me to be "a fire under their ass," no me challenging myself to accept/tolerate things i think i should. no compromise. for now... i'm choosing someone who thinks and lives just like me.
once i stopped looking and no longer cared to even try, something easy came along.
once i stopped looking and no longer cared to even try, something easy came along.
36
my last 36 hours have been truly rockin. first, i went to an art show last night where my friend and coworker had an opening. we three drivers were there with our boss and it was a good time. free beer. my boss, "Daddy J" gave me a ride to the marina where my friend The Fisherman has a sailboat and RUM. i had pre-ordered dark and stormies by phone. I found The Fisherman, my lovely acquaintances The Kayak Twins, and their mutual friend "J" at the top of the dock carrying digiorno pizzas through the gate. we gathered belowdecks and ate up the pizza, going from rum to beer to wine or whatever alcohol was left. The Fisherman attempted several puzzling escapes from his own vessel only to be continuously dragged back for his own safety. and to continue drinking. eventually we left him there and The Kayak Twins offered their spare bedroom to me for the night, which, to my great fortune, has a DIGITAL DRUM KIT!!! there are 100 settings where each skin can play different genres, like "spacejam" (think laser sounds when you hit each one) or "animals" or studio or whatever. i was drunk but determined to try out each and every setting. only then did i retire.
i got up and jetted off to Nan's which happened to be only one block away, picked up my mail (hello beautiful ryan adams ticket! well, haha, beautiful sorta, badutz-uh) and then picked up a bus home to gather cold weather sailing gear. my one mile walk from the busstop near home was freezing but those legwarmers i'd used the night before to stow wine bottles in my purse really helped. so The Fisherman is supposed to give me a ride but I don't even know if he's still alive, so I call and leave a message. After thorough directions he still gets lost and takes forever to get to me, where i'm waiting on a corner, in a residential area near my house, wearing sea boots, a bright orange grundens raincoat and jeans, and STILL getting gross men parking nearby and motioning to me because they think i'm a hooker. ok so i live in a bad area. The Fish finally shows and tells me sailing's been canceled, and we're both annoyed with that, but decide to make the best of it and hit up Smarty Pants for a greasy hangover breakfast. Here I learn that The Fish has only one eating peculiarity - he can't abide eating two generations of the same animal from one plate. my fave breakfast there is the Troublemaker Pileup which has eggs and chicken in it. he tolerated me eating it, but in no way took my recommendation to order the same. So Fish and I head over to SLU and CWB and arthur foss. We ran into a haida building a canoe outside. He had a lot of good things to say and actually knows CHB and WHAT THE FUCK... according to this 'skin Crazy Haida Bob is LIVING in SEATTLE and hasn't even told me. Whatever. Fish and I tried our hand at sawing some cedar and promptly gave up and went over to CWB where all of 6 folks who had tried out the new SLUT (south lake union trolley) were milling about, kiddies making boats, and strangely a girl was playing a harp upstairs. we noticed our sailing buddy Kenworth taking out the ol' ferrocement mallory todd while walking over to the A. Foss. Diana and Old Engine Adrian happened to be there at that moment so we chatted a bit with them.
Fish kicked me out of his crazy little sportscar at Nans and i hung out there for several hours before he returned with Kayak Twins to pick me up for a party at Kenworth and Twinkle's place. Twinkle is from "Bama and cute as a button and a very active hostess. lots of food, jello shots, karaoke, dance dance revolution and a white elephant gift exchange made for an active night. i suck at DDR, my version of "Somebody Told Me" wasn't all that great, but to my credit i HAD picked up our group's white el. gifts at archie mcphees, and they were very popular. especially the dracula mug that could hold a quart of...? and the plastic duck that quacked, the bag with three rolls of colored vinyl industrial tape, and the large plastic squirell were all hits. the dracula mug tied for being highest in demand with a bottle of sake. Kenworth stole my dark chocolate salmon and i ended up with a dvd of Far & Away. One of the KTwins landed a potted amaryllis and i almost took it from her but i knew it was in better hands (aka not mine).
so yeah 36 hours in the life of me this weekend. so far.
JUSTIN arrives MONDAY!!! yay!
i got up and jetted off to Nan's which happened to be only one block away, picked up my mail (hello beautiful ryan adams ticket! well, haha, beautiful sorta, badutz-uh) and then picked up a bus home to gather cold weather sailing gear. my one mile walk from the busstop near home was freezing but those legwarmers i'd used the night before to stow wine bottles in my purse really helped. so The Fisherman is supposed to give me a ride but I don't even know if he's still alive, so I call and leave a message. After thorough directions he still gets lost and takes forever to get to me, where i'm waiting on a corner, in a residential area near my house, wearing sea boots, a bright orange grundens raincoat and jeans, and STILL getting gross men parking nearby and motioning to me because they think i'm a hooker. ok so i live in a bad area. The Fish finally shows and tells me sailing's been canceled, and we're both annoyed with that, but decide to make the best of it and hit up Smarty Pants for a greasy hangover breakfast. Here I learn that The Fish has only one eating peculiarity - he can't abide eating two generations of the same animal from one plate. my fave breakfast there is the Troublemaker Pileup which has eggs and chicken in it. he tolerated me eating it, but in no way took my recommendation to order the same. So Fish and I head over to SLU and CWB and arthur foss. We ran into a haida building a canoe outside. He had a lot of good things to say and actually knows CHB and WHAT THE FUCK... according to this 'skin Crazy Haida Bob is LIVING in SEATTLE and hasn't even told me. Whatever. Fish and I tried our hand at sawing some cedar and promptly gave up and went over to CWB where all of 6 folks who had tried out the new SLUT (south lake union trolley) were milling about, kiddies making boats, and strangely a girl was playing a harp upstairs. we noticed our sailing buddy Kenworth taking out the ol' ferrocement mallory todd while walking over to the A. Foss. Diana and Old Engine Adrian happened to be there at that moment so we chatted a bit with them.
Fish kicked me out of his crazy little sportscar at Nans and i hung out there for several hours before he returned with Kayak Twins to pick me up for a party at Kenworth and Twinkle's place. Twinkle is from "Bama and cute as a button and a very active hostess. lots of food, jello shots, karaoke, dance dance revolution and a white elephant gift exchange made for an active night. i suck at DDR, my version of "Somebody Told Me" wasn't all that great, but to my credit i HAD picked up our group's white el. gifts at archie mcphees, and they were very popular. especially the dracula mug that could hold a quart of...? and the plastic duck that quacked, the bag with three rolls of colored vinyl industrial tape, and the large plastic squirell were all hits. the dracula mug tied for being highest in demand with a bottle of sake. Kenworth stole my dark chocolate salmon and i ended up with a dvd of Far & Away. One of the KTwins landed a potted amaryllis and i almost took it from her but i knew it was in better hands (aka not mine).
so yeah 36 hours in the life of me this weekend. so far.
JUSTIN arrives MONDAY!!! yay!
GOLDSLICK=GOLDSCHLAGER
thanks to my blog tracker which tells me what search words are being used to link to my blog, i can tell you where in the world the movie "superbad" is currently playing. the whole world wants to get their hands on some GOLDSLICK. we're talking the chinese, the turks, the czechs, the french, germans, kiwis, aussies, dutch, heck even the icelandic folks and brazilians. well of course the brazilians.... they know how to party.
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD... LET IT BE KNOWN....
THERE IS NO LIQUOR NAMED GOLDSLICK!!!!
PRESS YOUR "BACK" BUTTON TO RETURN TO GOOGLE AND TYPE THIS:
GOLDSCHLAGER
ah. now that they are gone...
i'd like to write about my views on a small town called Langley, Washington.
by the looks of this otherwise gorgeous little village, i believe they have the highest density of current and future juvenile delinquents of any town in their county. if you are somewhere near my age, imagine high school 15-20 years ago - all the goth kids and stoners are now within a 4 block radius, walking around as though the town were an extension of their high school during lunch break. it's bizarre. mostly what you see in langley are older hippie ladies and all these miscreants. someone needs to hold a townwide intervention with the parents here and tell them how to CARE about their children being aimless and attention-starved. Langley reeks of dysfunctional suburbia.
i hope someone googles "langley, washington" and finds this post.
besides all that it's time i laid off the caffeine and sugar. i identified myself as an addict with cravings today, and the tension, poor sleep, moodiness and road rage are definitely to be taken into account. i went up to 2 large coffees (extra cream and sugar) and a frap today. plus 3 doughnuts. easy to do because i won't get fat from it, and i need the energy to make it through 12 hours of work. or at least the addict in me is telling me that this stuff helps...
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD... LET IT BE KNOWN....
THERE IS NO LIQUOR NAMED GOLDSLICK!!!!
PRESS YOUR "BACK" BUTTON TO RETURN TO GOOGLE AND TYPE THIS:
GOLDSCHLAGER
ah. now that they are gone...
i'd like to write about my views on a small town called Langley, Washington.
by the looks of this otherwise gorgeous little village, i believe they have the highest density of current and future juvenile delinquents of any town in their county. if you are somewhere near my age, imagine high school 15-20 years ago - all the goth kids and stoners are now within a 4 block radius, walking around as though the town were an extension of their high school during lunch break. it's bizarre. mostly what you see in langley are older hippie ladies and all these miscreants. someone needs to hold a townwide intervention with the parents here and tell them how to CARE about their children being aimless and attention-starved. Langley reeks of dysfunctional suburbia.
i hope someone googles "langley, washington" and finds this post.
besides all that it's time i laid off the caffeine and sugar. i identified myself as an addict with cravings today, and the tension, poor sleep, moodiness and road rage are definitely to be taken into account. i went up to 2 large coffees (extra cream and sugar) and a frap today. plus 3 doughnuts. easy to do because i won't get fat from it, and i need the energy to make it through 12 hours of work. or at least the addict in me is telling me that this stuff helps...
what else today
in other news i had a terrible day at work. first i got stuck in an alley sandwiched between several big trucks that were also trying to deliver stuff to the same place. this was after i'd already protested to park in this place, but was forced to by the building's receiver. then i got stuck behind, yes, the most common thing in downtown seattle, people in snazzy clothes and expensive cars parking in loading zones, or hell, just making their own loading zone in rush hour traffic. thank goodness there's no signage on my vehicle because i rolled down the window and yelled at 2 violators parked RIGHT NEXT to a sign that said absolutely no parking before 9 am. later on in the day i flipped off a jerk who forced me to back out of a pot-holey alley because he had driven in opposite me and wouldn't back up. one client made me carry a dozen extremely heavy cases up some stairs and to some back of the building nook... and all day my back is killing me and my wrist feels really messed up... but really that stuff's been going on for a week. i chalk it up to the busy holiday season. the wrist stuff is new and slightly alarming but the back stuff i know will go away with a good massage. so i return to the warehouse and tell my boss that i can never do that one place alone again if my load is going to be so large. he didn't know they often make me take the stuff upstairs. then i asked, since we were down one man and the company was saving money by not having to pay for a warehouse manager, could they at least pay for me to get a massage this weekend? which was the same negative approach i'd been using all day, and therefore brought the usual less than positive response. he referred me to my chiropractic care via insurance, and i said my insurance hadn't started even though it was supposed to 2 weeks ago. i then walked away. he told everyone to go home an hour early and finished all our work for us. which, in my opinion, doesn't help anything because it just makes someone else suffer. i'll be happy when the holiday season is over.
no, it doesn't cut like a knife!
i have a ryan adams mix cd that i play almost every single day while driving my delivery van. i keep forgetting to make new cds, and my iTrip sucks, and sometimes i drive out of kexp range, but this cd keeps me going above all others. i think my favorite song of all time to sing along to is his song "the sadness." it has an epic mexican/old west sound that really shows off his vocal range and passion. ryan is not the respectable musician that jack white is, but he's just as passionate in his lyrics and playing, just as GOOD a musician, and his music suits my moods more often, even calming me. one song i am always moved by, every single time i play it, is "Dear Chicago." i think it's a song about meeting someone new, and reminiscing over a sad breakup, and realizing he was falling out of love with that person. i can't say i've felt that way since hearing the song, but i love the song nonetheless. breakup songs are usually about how someone wants someone back or how about the dumpee now hates the dumper. this is the only song i can think of that just says - i respect you, i'll miss you, i guess i'm getting over you.
i'll find a youtube version or sumthin for this in a minute, but these are my favorite all time sad lines in the song:
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted back
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.
ok i found an awesome version of him doing this song on youtube. it's in london about a year ago, which is almost the same time jarad and i saw him (two nights in a row!) in pdx and seattle. the video quality sucks bigtime but the sound quality is strangely great. when ryan takes the stage and sings these slow songs, a total hush often comes over the crowd. some of his songs performed at the moore in seattle were so sad in an eerily quiet room... i bawled. but i'm a big baby sometimes. i can't wait to see him in january.
i'll find a youtube version or sumthin for this in a minute, but these are my favorite all time sad lines in the song:
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted back
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.
ok i found an awesome version of him doing this song on youtube. it's in london about a year ago, which is almost the same time jarad and i saw him (two nights in a row!) in pdx and seattle. the video quality sucks bigtime but the sound quality is strangely great. when ryan takes the stage and sings these slow songs, a total hush often comes over the crowd. some of his songs performed at the moore in seattle were so sad in an eerily quiet room... i bawled. but i'm a big baby sometimes. i can't wait to see him in january.
popped out
there is a postcard invitation in our kitchen inviting my roommates to a party called "the nativity." at the end it states "costumes appropriate for the birth of jesus a MUST."
no no i'm not going - i don't even know the hostess. but i do know that her girlfriend used to date a guy who temporarily dumped her to be with me. complicated, i know. it was a funny postcard.
my pop culture heroes for the week: cate blanchett and jack white. ok so jack's been on my top 2 for awhile but i watched a bunch of youtube interviews with him today. he's got such integrity - i love him. coke ad be damned. at least he didn't make any apologies. people compare his art with led zep and others, and he doesn't argue that he's an original. he explains that it's pretentious for most folks to think they can do anything original now, and he's happy honoring past artists as best he can, calling it the folk music tradition. he has an unbelievable amount of patience with foreign interviewers. i think i like it best when he explains that the digital manipulation and inorganic production rampant in recordings these days "takes all the soul out of it."
no no i'm not going - i don't even know the hostess. but i do know that her girlfriend used to date a guy who temporarily dumped her to be with me. complicated, i know. it was a funny postcard.
my pop culture heroes for the week: cate blanchett and jack white. ok so jack's been on my top 2 for awhile but i watched a bunch of youtube interviews with him today. he's got such integrity - i love him. coke ad be damned. at least he didn't make any apologies. people compare his art with led zep and others, and he doesn't argue that he's an original. he explains that it's pretentious for most folks to think they can do anything original now, and he's happy honoring past artists as best he can, calling it the folk music tradition. he has an unbelievable amount of patience with foreign interviewers. i think i like it best when he explains that the digital manipulation and inorganic production rampant in recordings these days "takes all the soul out of it."
i'm not there
saw an amazing movie tonight about bob dylan, whom i don't know enough about to fully understand everything going on in the film, but it was amazing nonetheless. i'd listened to a CBC interview last week in the van with the director, and at least got a little insight to what the film was all about. i just learned that he's the same guy who made "Safe," a film about environmental toxins with Julianne Moore that, in a way, changed how I think about that stuff. Not very many people seem to have seen it. That must have been 12 years ago when that movie came out...
Cate Blanchett played the best Bob in I'm Not There. It was fun to hear and see Jim James playing in the movie, and it was fun to try and figure out what the hell was going on, and to let myself just roll with the surrealistic display.
David Cross play's Allen Ginsberg! I almost sacrilegiously laughed out loud when he and dylan are standing below a big jesus on a cross and cate yells up "can you do some of your earlier stuff?!?" I'd read a review in a local mag saying that their movie line of all time was cate saying "get groovy or leave, man" which is freakin' great. my favorite quote was something like how we consider freedom to be able to live the way we want, but if we only live a certain way then after a while it no longer seems like freedom.
I think i connected with this movie even more today because of what i wrote earlier in the day. dylan isn't portrayed as taking himself too seriously, even seems averse to the claims that his purpose is to rally the people against war. he constantly changes. something todd haynes mentioned in the interview that doesn't seem to be well known is that dylan told lots of fictional stories in his music and actually called himself woody guthrie early on, which is why having a young black hobo play him is so perfect. also, my love for charlotte gainsburg as an actress rather than a singer was strengthened. she's very real and raw i guess. the way her face isn't perfect and her skin is pale and full of moles and freckles, and the way she stands next to the tv in her stockings or the the way she sits crying with heath ledger at their breakup. she's a very "real" and likable actress for me.
so here's a clip of cate playing dylan and david cross playing ginsberg!!
Cate Blanchett played the best Bob in I'm Not There. It was fun to hear and see Jim James playing in the movie, and it was fun to try and figure out what the hell was going on, and to let myself just roll with the surrealistic display.
David Cross play's Allen Ginsberg! I almost sacrilegiously laughed out loud when he and dylan are standing below a big jesus on a cross and cate yells up "can you do some of your earlier stuff?!?" I'd read a review in a local mag saying that their movie line of all time was cate saying "get groovy or leave, man" which is freakin' great. my favorite quote was something like how we consider freedom to be able to live the way we want, but if we only live a certain way then after a while it no longer seems like freedom.
I think i connected with this movie even more today because of what i wrote earlier in the day. dylan isn't portrayed as taking himself too seriously, even seems averse to the claims that his purpose is to rally the people against war. he constantly changes. something todd haynes mentioned in the interview that doesn't seem to be well known is that dylan told lots of fictional stories in his music and actually called himself woody guthrie early on, which is why having a young black hobo play him is so perfect. also, my love for charlotte gainsburg as an actress rather than a singer was strengthened. she's very real and raw i guess. the way her face isn't perfect and her skin is pale and full of moles and freckles, and the way she stands next to the tv in her stockings or the the way she sits crying with heath ledger at their breakup. she's a very "real" and likable actress for me.
so here's a clip of cate playing dylan and david cross playing ginsberg!!
if you're not changing the world for the better, and on a grand scale, please get over yourself.
where the fuck did everyone's sense of humor go? people take themselves SO GODDAMN SERIOUSLY! thank god the people i'm around the most, my roommates and my coworkers, have well-developed wit and the ability to laugh at themselves.
some of the stuff i got for the magazine was so completely dry and boring it made me wanna gouge out my own eyeballs. people will definitely see a trend with this 'zine: i honor and keep the best writers who make me laugh. and the thing is, you can make ANYTHING funny if you observe and quip about the silly things that mother nature or other humans are bound to throw at you. shit even it's not funny, make me FEEL something. there definitely exists stunning topics/events that evoke emotion or interest without embellishing words, but sorry, most maritime happenings aren't on par with 9/11, abu ghraib, the Titanic or even global warming.
i'm beginning to think i'm a better writer than previously assumed. not better than mason or leannie gordon, for sure, but at least 2.5 stars on a scale of five, and the majority being one or two?
i'm ranting and i'm not putting this on my "behind the 'zine" blog because it's already hard enough to get people to write and i don't want them to be further deterred. hopefully potential writers won't read THIS.
i suppose i believe how people present themselves online - my acquaintances anyway. party pictures, witticisms, etc. i think i'm pretty honest with most my online presence, except when i wake up i look a hell of a lot shittier than i do in any online pictures. through dozens of past psychological pre-employment exams i have learned that people in general believe that most of society are like themselves. as though their reality was the norm. for example, you get the question "True or false: most people steal from work if they feel underpaid by the employer" So I guess if you say "True" then they will think that you steal. ok so that's a long drawn out explanation as to why i think people are generally honest online (like i think I am). granted i leave a lot of personal stuff out, but even the negative stuff hits this blog for a few days before i delete it. i delete it because the feeling has passed and to leave it a permanent presence is to give it worth. it only deserves worth if there's something there to be learned from. being bitchy is something to aspire to NOT be.
in other news about ME, i got out of the shower and looked in the mirror today and realized i may very well be in the best physical shape of my life. my face still looks yucky sometimes, and my skin is starting to get older, but that's inevitable. i know i go through phases of self loathing or self loving, and i had a bit of a bad month in November. i stopped seeing someone who was always telling me i wasn't "ultra-hot" and that he really goes for artsy girls, mod-fashion girls, etc. etc. only for him to call me a few days after the final blow up and finally give me a fucking worthwhile compliment - a storyline all too familiar in my history. so i then asked a different guy out whom i definitely had a crush on... in fact i asked him out several times, before i forced him to directly reject me so that i would know for sure that i didn't have a chance. i think this guy is a little fucked up so it's for the best that it didn't happen between us. unfortunately i have a weakness for a sweet smile and nice legs and we're still friends, so the attraction is still there. but it's not an unrequited love thing in any respect. the next step was to go out on a few blind dates and then a dinner with a friends' coworker. the first date was good, although it seemed he wasn't sharing much of his personality with me. we made plans for a second date. the 2nd was pretty interesting - and not a real date, more of a quick meetup with someone with common interests - a fun guy who worked postproduction for movies for 13 years before deciding to work on tugs. we met for a happy hour in georgetown on the spur of the moment, traded tug stories and promised to contact each other if there were good parties/events worth attending in the near future. the third date included an amazing meal at one of the best restaurants in the country, but lets just say that i think this acquaintance feels like he's got a lot to prove to this world. nice man, though. after this marathon dating weekend i was sick and tired of devoting any energy to people i don't even know. i'm done dating. i like what my roommate jo said - "back home in australia we just end up sleeping with someone at a party and then if we realize we like each other then we pretty much become a couple for awhile." shit, i'd take THAT over dating. once you've slept with someone there's very little tension or mystery and i guess i prefer things comfortable and easy. but then again i don't go to a lot of parties and i don't like sleeping with folks i don't know. and recycling past lovers can be MESSY!! right now i'm reminded of when i was a teenager and tried to start smoking by puffin on marlboro reds. turned me off pretty quick. THAT is equivalent to 3 dates in one weekend for a person who hasn't "dated" in over 5 years.
my only other observation for today is that i think the face of this city has changed faster than every city in this country, with the exception of the constantly morphing town of Las Vegas.
some of the stuff i got for the magazine was so completely dry and boring it made me wanna gouge out my own eyeballs. people will definitely see a trend with this 'zine: i honor and keep the best writers who make me laugh. and the thing is, you can make ANYTHING funny if you observe and quip about the silly things that mother nature or other humans are bound to throw at you. shit even it's not funny, make me FEEL something. there definitely exists stunning topics/events that evoke emotion or interest without embellishing words, but sorry, most maritime happenings aren't on par with 9/11, abu ghraib, the Titanic or even global warming.
i'm beginning to think i'm a better writer than previously assumed. not better than mason or leannie gordon, for sure, but at least 2.5 stars on a scale of five, and the majority being one or two?
i'm ranting and i'm not putting this on my "behind the 'zine" blog because it's already hard enough to get people to write and i don't want them to be further deterred. hopefully potential writers won't read THIS.
i suppose i believe how people present themselves online - my acquaintances anyway. party pictures, witticisms, etc. i think i'm pretty honest with most my online presence, except when i wake up i look a hell of a lot shittier than i do in any online pictures. through dozens of past psychological pre-employment exams i have learned that people in general believe that most of society are like themselves. as though their reality was the norm. for example, you get the question "True or false: most people steal from work if they feel underpaid by the employer" So I guess if you say "True" then they will think that you steal. ok so that's a long drawn out explanation as to why i think people are generally honest online (like i think I am). granted i leave a lot of personal stuff out, but even the negative stuff hits this blog for a few days before i delete it. i delete it because the feeling has passed and to leave it a permanent presence is to give it worth. it only deserves worth if there's something there to be learned from. being bitchy is something to aspire to NOT be.
in other news about ME, i got out of the shower and looked in the mirror today and realized i may very well be in the best physical shape of my life. my face still looks yucky sometimes, and my skin is starting to get older, but that's inevitable. i know i go through phases of self loathing or self loving, and i had a bit of a bad month in November. i stopped seeing someone who was always telling me i wasn't "ultra-hot" and that he really goes for artsy girls, mod-fashion girls, etc. etc. only for him to call me a few days after the final blow up and finally give me a fucking worthwhile compliment - a storyline all too familiar in my history. so i then asked a different guy out whom i definitely had a crush on... in fact i asked him out several times, before i forced him to directly reject me so that i would know for sure that i didn't have a chance. i think this guy is a little fucked up so it's for the best that it didn't happen between us. unfortunately i have a weakness for a sweet smile and nice legs and we're still friends, so the attraction is still there. but it's not an unrequited love thing in any respect. the next step was to go out on a few blind dates and then a dinner with a friends' coworker. the first date was good, although it seemed he wasn't sharing much of his personality with me. we made plans for a second date. the 2nd was pretty interesting - and not a real date, more of a quick meetup with someone with common interests - a fun guy who worked postproduction for movies for 13 years before deciding to work on tugs. we met for a happy hour in georgetown on the spur of the moment, traded tug stories and promised to contact each other if there were good parties/events worth attending in the near future. the third date included an amazing meal at one of the best restaurants in the country, but lets just say that i think this acquaintance feels like he's got a lot to prove to this world. nice man, though. after this marathon dating weekend i was sick and tired of devoting any energy to people i don't even know. i'm done dating. i like what my roommate jo said - "back home in australia we just end up sleeping with someone at a party and then if we realize we like each other then we pretty much become a couple for awhile." shit, i'd take THAT over dating. once you've slept with someone there's very little tension or mystery and i guess i prefer things comfortable and easy. but then again i don't go to a lot of parties and i don't like sleeping with folks i don't know. and recycling past lovers can be MESSY!! right now i'm reminded of when i was a teenager and tried to start smoking by puffin on marlboro reds. turned me off pretty quick. THAT is equivalent to 3 dates in one weekend for a person who hasn't "dated" in over 5 years.
my only other observation for today is that i think the face of this city has changed faster than every city in this country, with the exception of the constantly morphing town of Las Vegas.
nobody's bitch
the darkness, the rain, the cold... is really getting to me this weekend. i'm considering finding a cooking job after polly gets married in june. on a boat, i mean. sometimes i love cooking on boats. sometimes it's hell. one thing i've realized with this delivery job is i like working alone and listening to music and making my own decisions, for the most part, on how i'm going to take on the day. i could stay at this job and never save money because my dining out habits have become outrageous, or i could join a boat and save probably, at the very very least (we're talking if i was on a traditional boat) $500 per month. I could have pursued the cooking job on Bounty and be in the Med right now! I could work for NOAA or on a research vessel and save a fat lot more than that. But I'd definitely have to be somebody's bitch for that. The government's bitch too. I think after the 3rd issue is out and after the holidays and mexico i'm going to take a few cooking classes, and see if i can't improve on my one-pots, sauces, soups and stews. that's what really makes a boat cook's job tolerable. not the way i cook with elaborate salads, pizza, pasta with 4 different sauce options, etc. that's just silly unless you're union.
my perfect land life would be this: live in a big 4 bedroom house, where a dozen other sailors pay approx $200 per month each to be able to live there part of the year and keep there stuff there the rest of the year. 2 rooms would have 4-6 bunks in each, and the other two would be private - one for me and one for the others to share or rotate through, depending on needs or how long they had rented there. i would do all the provisioning, cooking, most cleaning, and bill paying in return for my costs being covered. i could have a part time job and run the magazine more efficiently. we could even have a dog.
it'd be great! and we could accommodate very temporary visiting sailors into our little house-community too. people could receive mail there, feel at home on land... it'd be so perfect. i'd love to have this new mexico property work out that way, but it's so out of the way that not many could reasonably call it home.
anyway, i dumped my movies and pics from my camera onto the 'puter. here's what i've got: the first was taken during my weekly delivery route to bainbridge/kitsap. a short vid coming into the winslow dock. note: a lot of my vids are totally uneventful, and just a way that people can say Oh man, i remember being there...
the next one is an attempt at getting the lovely clouds and mount rainier in the shot, from the puyallup area, i believe.
my perfect land life would be this: live in a big 4 bedroom house, where a dozen other sailors pay approx $200 per month each to be able to live there part of the year and keep there stuff there the rest of the year. 2 rooms would have 4-6 bunks in each, and the other two would be private - one for me and one for the others to share or rotate through, depending on needs or how long they had rented there. i would do all the provisioning, cooking, most cleaning, and bill paying in return for my costs being covered. i could have a part time job and run the magazine more efficiently. we could even have a dog.
it'd be great! and we could accommodate very temporary visiting sailors into our little house-community too. people could receive mail there, feel at home on land... it'd be so perfect. i'd love to have this new mexico property work out that way, but it's so out of the way that not many could reasonably call it home.
anyway, i dumped my movies and pics from my camera onto the 'puter. here's what i've got: the first was taken during my weekly delivery route to bainbridge/kitsap. a short vid coming into the winslow dock. note: a lot of my vids are totally uneventful, and just a way that people can say Oh man, i remember being there...
the next one is an attempt at getting the lovely clouds and mount rainier in the shot, from the puyallup area, i believe.
police your own community
Haven't been too inspired to blog lately. Work went fine last week, nothing too messed up. Our worst driver and coworker was told to shove off a few days before he was quitting, and we were pretty damn happy about his early departure. He's this "musician" and skater who is the biggest self-righteous hypocrite I've met in years. At first I enjoyed chatting with him but then regretted opening the lines of communication because all he ever really wanted to do was complain about the job. Sure we all have our bad days, but every day was bad for him and he said things like "this is the worst job I've ever had." which is totally ridiculous because it's so freakin' easy and the bosses are totally laid back and awesome. he'd open up every conversation was "i don't wanna be negative, but...." and on top of it all he was acutely sensitive to any swearing or crude or suggestive sarcasm, which made me want to say "you should go work for the state." i for one hate the stifling laws that make men afraid to joke around in any way shape or form. maybe i just haven't had any bad experiences, but i work around men in most of my jobs and i can't think of any time where i was directly disrespected/harassed. well, except for when i was 19 and my married boss asked me to have sex with him and then made my life suck when i refused. i took action on that, of course. i used to work as a trades helper (helping carpenters & painters) back in 2003 at a big state institution for higher learning and all the guys there were super nice, but there were times when i walked into a room and everyone would fall silent, even though i'd heard them joking and laughing from down the hall. it sucked. nowadays i don't think men have any problem with a woman's work ethic or technical knowledge - i think that if they don't like working with women it's because of the risk of saying something that's going to offend her. this fear is legitimized because of the super sensitive women who heard a joke or had someone flirt with them and then got a guy fired or collected from a big lawsuit. what i have found is that communities in all forms tend to police themselves in a commonsense way. i'm no timid waif but every group of men i've worked with has seemed slightly protective, and in a social setting it's easy to figure out who the creepy people are. and those people often don't get included in group socialization, and if i were to ever complain about the weirdo acting creepy, well first and foremost i'd tell HIM that he was acting offensive, but if he continued that behavior and i complained to my boss i feel confident that he'd be dealt with and it would either stop or he'd be fired or given a different job. but i guess i don't know what other women go through. but i think there's a lower ratio of rapists & assholes in the workplace than women who aren't confident enough to put an offender in his place. once i read something about the difference between women being catcalled on the street in the US vs Italy. In the US the girl will pretend to ignore the man and scamper away. In Italy the girl will turn to him and say "Don't talk to me like that! Were you raised in a barn?!" or something like that.
