Good Night

Captain Christopher just called and offered me a springtime job aboard a cargo-under-sail boat in the South Pacific! He won't be aboard anymore, but he has already spoken to the owners and they would like to have me join the crew. I'm definitely going to consider it. It's for the end of January, by which time the Seattle weather will have really gotten under my skin.

There's also an invite in my inbox to a Halloween Party at Shilshole - the main event is carving up pumpkins with power tools. Who could say no to that?

alright already

I tried tumblr and there just isn't enough cool stuff over there to tweak my blog. So I'm back to this page, sans archives. Suffice it to say I do not want to be judged for stuff I blabbed on and on about on the blog in the past. It's been a crazy, harrowing summer of disturbing events, utter confusion, lots of work, lots of heartbreak, and still - some great times. I laughed, I cried, I cried some more... and what didn't kill me made me stronger.

It feels like the New Year. Like Obama is already president. I can't wait to do great things.

all abye-bye

I dare you to do this shot: THE STUNTMAN... first pour a shot of tequila. SNORT a line of SALT, down the tequila, then squirt lime in YOUR EYE.
Please take pictures and send them to jacktarzine (at) gmail (dot) com.

Last night Jes, Hannah and I had cuban pork sandwiches and later went to Les Faux, a star quality drag show on Capitol HIl. The most excellent Kylie Minogue and Liza Minelli of Cabaret impersonator chatted us up forever outside. She was incredible. And beautiful. I could never do my makeup that well.

In other news, this blog no longer represents who I am. Actually it never did. Things they are a-changin' so say adios to the all aKIMbo blog. It's been a long four years.

Work Party


Today I hosted a work party aboard the schooner for about 6 hours. Five people showed up, and one more was going to come after work but I called it quits. Here's a pic of one of my deckhands from work, Nick, aloft for the first time, tarring ratlines and ratboards. He was stoked. Travis, a state trooper from Brownsville, came over with Jonathan and helped clean the bilge. I oiled the decks and did some tarring. Ben W. helped me with the oiling when he arrived, and Josh did some major bilge scupper unclogging. Then we drank beer.

I'm glad I used teak oil instead of pine tar on the decks. It was the right thing to do. Those decks soaked up the oil right away, too.

FINALLY



It feels so good to have short hair again! SOOOO GOOOD... I had to take some pictures of my now even MORE beautiful self. Who would have thought it was possible?!?

Personal Plan for Improvement

Someone close to me recently told me that I made him feel like shit with some comments I made. Nanette says I've become less and less positive. I think it's time for an attitude makeover and I think it all starts with me feeling better about myself and my pursuits.

Here's my plan:

What needs improvement = The plan to achieve this

I feel flighty and stupid lately = Study my seamanship books, take the Diesel Theory class, read more, get my AB ticket.

I look older and not so great sometimes = Take better care of my skin, get a haircut, get more toned, dress up sometimes!

No creative pursuits = Work on the calendar, the teeshirts, and JT #4

I'm uptight and overanalytical = Yoga, reading, more social stuff

Need more focus = Mexico, Lavengro

And always, always remember how much I love my friends and how awful it is to ever make them feel bad.

Today is a New Day!

Here's a shot of Lavengro sailing last week.

I had a shitty day yesterday. You know it's bad when people keep tossing pitiful looks your way and continuously buy you PITCHERS, not pints, of beer.

Brownsville Tall Ship Festival

I feel strangely lonely even though I have friends around every day. Maybe because it costs too much to see several of my good friends that live far away. Maybe because I'm not really
feeling a connection with new people that I meet. I also anticipate that Fisher will eventually hook up with somebody he meets either through PSSG, on Ben's boat or in Ben's sailing group. Kind of makes me just want to stay away from all that because I don't want to deal with it. I love Fisher and want him to be happy - not feeling weird because he might be attracted to someone at a party, which will make me uncomfortable. Guess I'm just not ready for that.

Yesterday I drove a 60' gaff rig schooner! I will put up more pics and videos eventually. Captain Evil sailed by and greeted me, saying we were looking great. He took pics of my boat and I took pics of his and agreed to email them to each other. I hung out a lot with Capt. Miah's wife Sarah, since we'd only known each other via internet for years. We had a pizza party with all 3 crews and it was good fun. My crew kicked ass.

work and friends

Had breakfast with Andrew this morning. He drove down from B'ham on his way to the airport to pick up his woman and wanted to hang out. We talked boats and the Politics of Foreign Aid. He recently got hired as a Logistics Manager for Doctors Without Borders and is heading off to Sudan next month. He'll be gone for NINE months!!!

Went fueling for the first time at work. It was exciting to go to a different dock. It's been really sunny here lately but yesterday it rained - it was a refreshing change. The sky was the same color as the water - Signature Seattle Gray. Here's video: (I don't have sound on my computer and I think the sound quality of my camera is poor, so it'd be best to turn your speakers down or off).

S/V Hello World


S/V Hello World
Originally uploaded by wiseleyb
Photo by Ben Wisely. Check out KTwin1 on aboard her new home!! Took Stella to the boatyard today. She acted crazy so I didn't stay long. Fish and KTwin2 were fixing a hole in the keel. Ktwin1, Ben & Gina were working on a scratch acquired during Kokomundo's trip north.

the bitch learned me

i took a nap today. Stella let me know she disapproved by eating a $20 bill and the $350 money order, envelope, stamp and all, that was to be sent to my landlord.

can't wait to tell the landlord my slip fee will be late because the dog ate the check.

i'm taking her out to play now.

Weekends with Stella

I'm housesitting and puppy sitting this weekend. It's so nice to have a nice house all to myself. I can walk around naked and more than a yard before hitting a wall! (as opposed to living on a boat). And Stella is the cutest pup.

So today I had my worst docking of the year, but it seemed to upset everyone around me far more than it upset me. It was slightly stressful in the moment, but I didn't break anything or anybody and I just saw that I was going to have to keep doing this til I got that bitch tied up. OK she's not a bitch I love her. The fluky west wind and flood tide were my real challengers. Luckily the County Councilman who is pretty much the reason this boat runs at all was standing there watching me! Oh yes. On the trip out he sat next to my wheelhouse and commented on "quite a landing." Since I finished training for this job I've been able to correct bad landings with a couple hits in reverse and some sharp turns forward. Today I actually had to circle back and then MISSED it AGAIN! Good lord. Typically Puget Sound has a Southerly in the morning and Northerly in the evening. I've never gotten used to a Westerly. People clapped when I finally landed her, which I thought was stupid. And no, I wasn't thinking it was complimentary. What pissed me off the most is that one deckhand on another boat, seeing me try to dock several times, just stood there and put her hand on her head as if to say "Oh dear!" So I yelled across, saying "Instead of holding your head you could come down here and help us with the lines?!" Someone else from that boat showed up to help. That girls' reaction was the only thing that upset me. Sometimes a deckhand will just sit there and look at the problem rather than DOING anything about it. I was so used to being that deckhand who would jump in and help solve the problem but now it's just me and the rudder and the prop working things out when I don't have a deckhand to help. Builds character. And seamanship, hopefully.

Yesterday I had to leave a few people behind because they were late. It's hard for people to understand that my boat is not like a bus that can just open it's door after I've pulled away from the curb, and that I can say "Oh, ok, go ahead and get on!" They run to the end of the dock, see the boat only feet away and look at me, saying "But I'm right here! You haven't even left yet!" In truth, I have. Regulations require me to tie up, attach the ramp, etc, etc, not to mention jockeying the boat back into position with a tide/current/wind and a single screw. I have 12 minutes to get to the other dock, and about 8 minutes to unload 70 passengers and load up 70 more. Many of which ignore the "Exact Fare Required" signs and are asking for change. One lady stood on the dock, shaking her head, exclaiming "That's just trash! That's trash!" Another man scowled silently. Upon my return he positioned himself with his camera to take close ups of me; presumably to be attached to an emailed complaint (after which I may be commended for punctuality). Then he stood next to the wheelhouse while underway and scowled some more. Yay. Whatever. At first this really bothered me. Now I realize I'm totally in the right and have no problem speaking with disgruntled passengers.

It's harder to deal with the half-crazy homeless guys. They get a bit lewd with us women on board then get banned from the ferry. I spoke with one of these (literally speaking) social outcasts today and found out he used to be an engineer on trains. He's not schizophrenic, but definitely not 100% mentally there, either. Nice guy, until he asks if he can kiss you, which he did (again) today. At least that was a perfect opportunity to tell him I'd let him back on in a month if he can stay away from my boat and stop making my deckhands uncomfortable by asking things like that. I hope he stays away. Seems like a harmless, nice guy, but I question my judgment of character sometimes. It's hard to fathom that there are people who are inherently mean or crazy, but obviously they exist.

Lazy folks are much more abundant, and one of my deckhands who is genuinely interested in a maritime career is notoriously lazy, and cocky to boot. We have a system of writing people up when they're late or working poorly. I told him I was going to write him up for his sloppiness, which was causing safety problems, but it would have been my first time writing someone up and I wanted to avoid it. I decided to see how he'd act the next time I worked with him: if he'd given up and said "Screw this job anyway!" then I'd for sure write him up. If he was obviously making an effort to do better, I'd skip the writeup. Yesterday I saw him again, and found out he'd spent all week in class for STCW training (Basic Safety). I've decided not to write him up, because I have faith that professional training will help make him more aware. He sounded pretty excited about how his training was going, and I'm all about promoting success in the maritime industry to those who are interested.

The Kayak Twins have a new, beautiful boat! I'm so happy for them. They started a new blog at blog.svhelloworld.com. But try typing just svhelloworld.com. That's what I just did. Ha!

Had a long talk with Jarad tonight - about movies, music, etc. He's seeing another Older Woman and she sounds pretty cool. This is his third girlfriend since we broke up, so I guess he's got more moves than I!!! He tried to convince me to not cut my hair short, which is absolutely what I'm tempted to do this weekend. We'll see. I hate taking care of long hair.

My Pagliacci pizza just arrived. Gotta love Seattle - where else in the world would every place I housesit offer a subaru wagon to use? And where else does the pizza box arrive covered not with logos or advertisements, but with the message "Why Your Vote Counts" and brief explanations of the 15th, 26th & 19th Amendments, the Electoral College, and the history of voting in America! Here's a quote:

"MALTA'S THE MOST
In Malta earlier this year, voter turnout for parliamentary elections was 93%- the lowest since 1971! The U.S. ranks in the bottom 20% of the world in voter participation."

the stars have spoken

this is my horoscope by Rob Brezny, for the coming week, copied from The Stranger.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Write down five exciting things you love to do or think about. Take this list with you everywhere you go. On another piece of paper, name five fears or unpleasant thoughts that demoralize you. Put this list at the back of your closet. For the next seven days, try to refrain from letting your mind wander to the things on the bad list. Meanwhile, undertake an aggressive campaign to cultivate, seek out, and enjoy the five exciting things that you love to do and think about. In fact, any time you notice your attention veering toward the negative stuff, immediately steer it toward the positive. Don't worry, this exercise won't turn you into a brain-dead optimist. After all, you'll only do it for a week. The items on the second list will still be there when you're done. Or will they? Maybe they will have mutated into something more manageable.

and THIS is my favorite astrologer, Caeriel Crestin, giving me advice:

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Unfortunately, the more you fret, the better you'll get at it. Just like anything else, practice makes perfect. Tomorrow you'll be able to cram more intense worry into less time than you could yesterday. Obviously, this is an unhealthy cycle, one I hope you figure out how to escape. Accept now that you'll never be able to entirely let go of worry; in some ways it's hard-wired into your brain. Instead of trying to suppress it, your best bet is to counter it. Luckily, you can develop other, better thought habits, which you can use to drown out the nagging little voice in your brain that will always point out what might go wrong, forever. This week, practice those.


So the message is pretty clear. I worry too much and sometimes obsess negatively.
OK I GET IT.

Five bad things to stick in the closet
Feeling hurt by others' insensitivity.
My kindness being taken for granted.
Being told that the way I am is either not mature, not evolved, or not open-minded enough
(man do I now feel like a SHIT for everyone I'VE ever preached to, or what?).
Resentment towards family members.
Hating my complexion.

Five things I like to think about
JT Magazine stuff
Living in Mexico
Learning more about boat systems and seamanship
Being in love
Traveling

soy mal?

Don't bother reading this post. Instead, read this and see how you're probably ingesting a shitload of estrogen. Especially you guys...

I have a shitload of internal drama that's wearing me out. I want to run run run away from it. It's great to be able to identify and acknowledge my weaknesses, but hellish to feel compelled to overthink them, to figure out what change is necessary, to implement that change, and the worst - feeling guilty for how I am. I'm really sick of that last part. I'm constantly torn between being comfortable with who I am versus being openminded and accepting of how others want me to be.

I'm so ready to say fuck all that and I am who I am, take me or leave me. Who am I, though? I'm firmly rooted in beliefs of intentional community, hard work, true love, socialism, and being aware of how anything I do might affect others. Woohoo! Sounds like a fun gal. Haha.

Being Fun is not high on my list of priorities in life. Being happy is, though. Accomplishing the above goals makes me happy. A pretty sunset, reading, sailing, drinking hot chocolate on a cold morning at work, being held by someone I love, seeing other people in love - all these things make me happy. I'm not a partier, and though I attend parties, I'm not interested in being the life of the party or getting obliterated or Make New Connections. It feels contrived. I get drunk just to be at the same level with other partygoers and NOT think it's pointless to be there. At least at Adrian's parties there's great food and a hot tub. I'm just so so not into small talk. I want to know how you truly feel about your job and your direction in life, so I'll ask more intrusive questions, but some of them will get this glazed look, and say "Oh well I'm in development, and I'm really interested in working abroad, helping the disadvantaged build community infrastructure...." blah blah blah. Who gives a shit? Who are YOU really? I'm impatient. Is there a living, feeling human being in there? That's who I want to meet. What's your passion? Be yourself, not this shell of a human who puts on a different face depending on the situation. Here's my party face, here's my work face, here's my private face. It sucks that society contributes to this behavior. It's like nobody really knows who they are anymore.

Socially, I'm changing. Lately I've only felt truly comfortable around Nanette, the KTwins, a few people at work, and my sailing friends I visited during tallships. Being in Seattle more than a year is something I haven't done in over 10 years. It's not healthy.

up late with the people's princess

Probably the girliest things I've ever done in my life was stay up all night to watch live footage of Diana arriving in a glass coach at St. Pauls Cathedral and walking down the aisle to become a princess. I was eight years old. We had one of those tvs that was the size and weight of a giant safe, and I sat crosslegged, two feet away so that I could hear with the volume turned down, drinking soda and eating popcorn.

Tonight I watched The Queen on DVD, and the entire plot is based on events surrounding Princess Diana's death. It the moments before her accident, they show clips of Diana when she first became engaged, her smiling that beautiful, genuine smile. I cried like a baby.

I spent hours this evening making dinner for the crew of five who went up to the cabin to help sheathe the roof. Couldn't go up so I thought making dinner might be something anyway. I also watched the Bourne Supremacy as well. Sure makes me want to get rid of my cell phone.

threadless

Went out for beers at The Dirty Bird after work today. I doubt I'll start partying as much as my coworkers. I'd like to get them out sailing though.

Katie and I watched the documentary "Sicko" for the first time. Very compelling. Of course it makes me want to live in France or Canada, and I'm glad it shows that even if you have insurance, you're probably still screwed.


2 people who know me well got me similar birthday presents this year. they both bought american made teeshirts from threadless.com:

jarad sent me this one, designed by Brock Davis:















and katie got me this one, designed by Ian Leino
it's even called "A Voyage of Discovery"

Nu Nooz

I have a strained muscle or pinched nerve in my back - the worst one in years. Got a massage yesterday but that only helped relieve about half the pain! Also got a little drunk and sat in a hot tub last night, which helped. So I took today off. I work tomorrow but then have four (!!!) days off. Looking forward to it. I'll be doing a little sailing and working aboard Lavengro (come help!) on Lake Union. I'm also really interested in honing my small-boat sailing skills, for when I have my own boat in Mexico. Within 2 years I figure I'll buy a cheap boat in San Diego and sail it to Cortez and live on it primarily, working about 4 months a year to support my habits (eating, sailing, traveling). Retirement plan? Pshaw. I decided long ago that if I'm either too old and infirm or just too infirm to Really Live Life then I'll figure out some inventive way to move on to the Next Plane of Existence. Currently the plan is to do a lot of drugs and sail straight into a level 4 or 5 hurricane. Thanks to Matt in Austin for the idea - he's going to do a lot of crack and meth and ride a jetski into the Gulf of Mexico during a hurricane instead.

So I want to get a lot of experience anchoring, sailing a small boat at night with very few crew (I'm thinking this means longer hours on watch) and just sail theory, repair, etc. I'm taking Adrian's Diesel Engine Theory class this fall and really looking forward to it. If anyone's interested, it's $305 and all day each Saturday in November and Dec 6th. Five Saturdays total. Big lunch included. All very hands-on aboard the Arthur Foss.

There was a plan to visit my dad this weekend, but I can't afford the gas that Jason's XTerra inhales, and while Dad's been pressing me to make these arrangements all summer, and I've been trying like hell to coordinate with my sister for the same weekend off, now he doesn't care because he's back with his wife and he's mad at my sister anyway. I'm going to stay at the KTwins houseboat and tend to Shithead instead. That's their cat. I wanted to help Nanette but besides prepping food, I can't afford to strain my back more. If I work aboard Lavengro I might be able to sand with my right hand, haha. Lame! Oh well. Poor Nanette with this cabin. I think she's been disheartened about the volunteer turnout this past month - I feel confident that everyone loves her and wants to help and be a part of the mountain cabin, but everyone has summer plans for their weekends. I work usually and now I have this stupid back problem. It was total brilliance on her part to get everyone out there in May, before summer truly kicked in. If she hadn't done that, who knows where the cabin would be now. Although, fuck that. She'd probably still have it done. She's seriously motivated in general. It's admirable. When the Mexico thing begins she's going to be even more unstoppable!!

I'm happy today. It's raining, been drizzling off and on for days, but I welcome it. It still gets pretty warm most days. I'm catching up on a lot of tasks that I've put off over the months - the magazine, the calendar, time with friends, tending to my own living space, etc. I'm one of those silly people who puts their heart and soul (aka all my time and energy) into a relationship, and yeah I know that dooms it sometimes. I'm older now, and learning, though. I can see that a balance is necessary. (and then Neko Case pipes in: "I'm holding out... for that teeeeenaaaage feeeeeling").

Did I mention how fun it was to see the movie Mamma Mia? I went alone late one night last week. It was the first time I felt weird going to a movie alone, only because there were ONLY WOMEN with their girlfriends in the theater. Except for the stinky snoring bum who snuck in to take a nap 2 seats from me. Mamma Mia is hilarious. This was my sister's promotion of it that got me to go: "If you're bummed out Kimmie you should go see it instead of Dark Knight. Pierce Brosnan can't sing and Colin Firth can't play guitar for shit and it's funny and an hour after watching them all run around singing you will be asking yourself What the hell are they all doing on this island???"
I highly recommend seeing it in the theater and not waiting for the DVD. A small screen will not do justice to the comic grandiosity - especially during Meryl Streep's little ABBA styled video montage and the choreographed dance scenes with the Greek citizens.

But yeah, I'm happy. I look forward to nurturing relationships with the girlfriends I already have - KTwin1, Lia (see the "Six Feet of Awesomeness" link to the right), Sasha, Polly, Sonja, Gina, Mikey Pru (ok not a girl but we have that kind of relationship) and my favorite new girlfriend - Diana. And of course Nanette. Nanette and I have a sort of Boston Marriage, in my mind. We will always be together working on our similar dreams for the world.

I love Seattle summers. I'm in a coffee shop drinking an americano and some odwallas, it's pouring outside but not too chilly, and the song Conscious Party is playing on the cafe speakers. Oh Ziggy Marley I remember when I used to listen to you. What happened to you? State fairs, probably. What I really want is some Steel Pulse. Anyone got some? The Steel Pulse mixtapes I made when I was 16 are long gone.

2008 Fremont Solstice Parade

The best parade in the country does not allow engine-powered entries (floats or otherwise) and is famous for it's naked bicyclists. Lia, I read your blog and linked to flickr and found this... couldn't resist blogging about the parade with such a great shot to be shared!

Keeping this going

I'm not updating much. No internets time. But I've been housesitting, now at the Ktwins's houseboat, for a few days and they have wifi. Tomorrow night it's back to the boat and then 2 days off with nothing to do. Fisher and I were going to do an overnight sail Friday but he says he doesn't want to now. Too bad I can't tag along with new friends Ben and Gina on their sail to the San Juans. Surely they wouldn't mind me snuggling into the vberth to watch dvds with them, right? Whatever. Jason and Christy will have to get used to it.

So work is going well... the magazine stuff hasn't been progressing much... but things are shaping up for the Women of Maritime calendar, so that's good. I'm going to take a class aboard Arthur Foss in November for five consecutive Saturdays called Diesel Engine Theory. I hope to get my AB and lifeboatman in November as well. Maybe even upgrade to a 200 ton near coastal mate or masters if possible. Alan K. wants to come down and scrape my hull in return for borrowing my boat for a weekend, and that idea is sketchy because I think my "seapoxy" is holding the hull together (barnacles, mussels, abalone, starfish, giant octopus, etc.). Got invited to go sailing for awhile aboard a friend's newly acquired Thunderbird 28 but alas I do like my job and want to keep it until the end of the season. If my boat were in better shape I'd be getting the fuck outta town every weekend EVERY WEEKEND. Maybe it's time I got fixed mine up or bought a better one.

ginormous!

first thing - i'm pretty sure i coined the term "ginormous" back in 2004. i just heard it on a subway commercial and chances are it will eventually end up in the dictionary. there is the possibility of "ginormous" being born into collective consciousness but that theory is still unconfirmed.

in other important news:
the only reality show that the world is better off having than not having is Trading Spouses.

supernanny is almost worthy of actually being on tv. but i don't have kids and i wouldn't look to a tv show on how to raise them if i did. however trading spouses is such an incredible insight to human nature and family relationships and communication... this show has really touched me the few times i've seen it.

i'm staying at judd and sherri's this week - housesitting. no dog care. just plants. and cable tv.

last weekend i visited tall ships tacoma with brian for a few hours. a few long lost sailor friends were in town and that made the weekend fun.

the fourth of july was a good time, over at the KTwins' houseboat. the night ended with me kicking christy's ass in indian leg wrestling. then fish totally schooled ol' sledge in arm wrestling. our dominance thus established, we retired for the evening. look at her just lying there on the floor. poor thing.